hi..am alok from gaya.main ek ladki ko bahut pyar karta hu.wo mere liye sab kuch hai.wo mere life me khusi ke kuch lamhe dikhai aur fir se mujhe akela chod di.i was always alone,wo mujhe anjan jagaah me lake alkela tadapne ke liye chod di.am still wainting 4 her,.main us se 4 year pahle mila tha.wo hamare hi batch ki thi par dusre college se.main use pahli bar me hi pasand karne laga.fb pe ghanto bat hoti..hum roj bate karte the.one day she asked about my gf.i said i don’t have.wo phuchi kyu..i said mujhe jaisi ladki chahiye mujhe nahi mili mujhe aisi ladki chahiye jo mere viswas ko kabhi na tode. maine kabhi kisi ladki k bare me nhi socha tha maine kabhi socha v nhi tha ek din mujhe kisi se iss kadar pyar ho jayega.kuch dino men hi use apna dil de dia.i badly fell in love with her.normal usual bate kuch dino tak hoti rahi.i wanted to propose her bt i fear kahi wo bura man gyi main use kho na dun.i decided i will tell her my feelings.
i guess she also started liking me there are some incidents. i told all these to my best frnd.he told me to propose her.after a week i proposed her.use mana kar diya boli hamlog sirf frnds rah sakte hain. wo kisi pe trust nahi kar sakti.main use bataya main use kitna chahta hu.wo boli is relationship ka koi future nahi hai.my family will never agree.main agar tumhare sath relationship me aa jati bhi hu to kya fayada.ek din ham alag ho jayenge.dono ko hurt hoga us se acha hai bas hum frnds ban ke rahe.main use bahut chahne laga tha.she meant everything 4 me.ham frnds ki tarah bate karte rahe.again maine us se jawab manga.ek din wo call ki aur boli hm sirf frnds rah sakte hai main kisi pe viswas nhi kar sakti aur boli tmhara kai ladkiyon ke sath affair hai,which really hurted me.i said tumhe mere pyar ko bura bhala kahne ka koi hak nahi hai.she said sorry and cut phone.wo fb se bhi unfrnd kar di.us din main pahli bar roya.fir maine use msg kiya lekin wo reply nahi ki aur block kar di.uska phone v nhi laga.then i made new id and asked about my fault why r u leaving me,why r u going so far and messaged her many time to come back,but she never replied and blocked my id..about 6 months tak aisa hi chalta raha fir meri life me ek naya mor aaya meri tabiyat bahut kharab ho gayi.mujhe hospitalize hona pada..kuchh dino bad mujhe chalne me problem hone lagi fir dr se dikhwane pe pata chala there is something wrong.hospital me high dose of medicines ki wajh se mujhe ek rare incurable bimari ho gayi hai..jo mere body ko dhire dhire paralyse kar degi one day it will affect internal organs and I would die..main again apni health ki wajh se bhi kafi stress me rahne laga aur uski wajah se bhi..maine use kayi bar baat karne ki koshish ki par wo kabhi nhi ki.(use mere bare kuchh malum nhi tha)…I remember 3 sal tak ek din bhi aisa nahi gaya hoga ki ki main nahi roya hunga.dhire dhire meri problem badhti rahi..
aisa hi chakta raha kabhi kabhi ye sochta achha hai jo jahan hai khush hai agar mere sath hoti to wo bhi preshan hoti..mera future dark ho gaya hai.par dil nahi manta,lagta kaise bhi us se baat karu use dekhu..maine bahu message kiya par wo baat nhi ki hamesa block kar deti thi.after 3 years I moved to other city main apni health ki wajah se bhi kabhi stressed tha..aur dr ne mujhe strictly mana kar rakha tha stress nhi lene ke liye nhi ti problem teji se badhegi.main stress se dur rahne k liye khud ko busy rakhne laga par use bhul nhi paya.tab tak meri halat aisi ho gayi main thik se nahi chal pata aur stairs to without support chadh hi nhi pata..meri padhai bh ruk gayi..maine khud ka business start karne ki socha..2 months pahle mujhe kisi kam se haridwar jana pada wha main kafi busy raha subah 4 se rat ke 9 baje tak..to uski yad utni nahi aati bas thoda sone k time hi..waha se 7 days ke bad jab main lautne laga to station pe 3 ghanta pahle hi pahuch gaya aur waiting hall me baithte hi uski bahut yad aane lagi,,aisa lagne laga uske bina kaise rahunga main,,
I can’t express that feeling..i cried there..maine ghar aakar use fir se fb pe message kiya 1 month tak uska message nahi aaya fir ek din main fir se apne id kholi to dekha uska message tha ki wo mujhse bat karna chahti hai..1 din bad us se fb pe hi nornal baten huyi .wo boli kya chahte ho tum to maine bola mujhe yun chhor se dur mat jao..aur boli tum chaho to humlog friends ki tarah rah sakte hain maine haan bol diya..next day us se phone pe bat ki aur mere sath jo bhi hua use bata diya aur bola yar ek friend ki tarah hi raho par mujhse dur mat jao..uske bad daily baten hone lagi whatsapp pe aue akbhi kabhi phn pe…uske wapas aane se main bahut khush tha..aisa lagne laga jaise main wahi pura vishal hu ..mujhme purani himmat aa gayi jo maon kho chuka tha.aisa lagne laga bas kaise bhi thik hona hai,,iske sath puri life bitani hai mujhe.and friends maine ye bhi feel kiya mujhe 5 days me hi meri meri problem kuchh kam huyi hai.lekin fir se wo boli main tumse kuchh din hi bat kar paungi uske bad hamri kabhi bat nahi hogi.
i again become upset,,fir se wahi khayal ki kahin ise bhi mujhse pyar ho gaya to main iski life to badbad nhi kar sakta.main bola jab tak bat kar sakti ho karo jab tumhari jo mazi ho karna main tumhare marzi ke against kuchh nhi karunga.next day se normally bat hone lagi.kuchh din bad wo fir se wahi boli nahi bat hogi ab meri life se life dur raho mujhse kisi ko friend nahi banana,,,aur maine kuchh nhi bol paya…..main khud kitn bhi dukh sah lunga par use nahi de sakta……main yahi soch ke use kuchh nahi bola ki agr humlog close rahte hain aur isse bhi pyar ho gaya to..isse jara sa bhi dukh hua hua to main khud ko maf nahi kar paunga…main bhi yahi chahta hu main us se dur rahu meri life ka koi thikana nahi kab mujhse chhin jaye ye jindadi…par main nahi rah sakta hu uske begair…har pal lagte rahtmaine uske ek frnd se ye sab bataya wo us se bat ki to wo boli wo mujhse kabhi bat nahi karegi wo kisi pe viswa nahi kar sakti. Fir mer
i life
i life
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